


To Be A Disney Prince (AKA Kevin Price's Gay Panic: The Short Story)

by was_i_in_it



Category: The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: Connor knows this and is smug, Disney World & Disneyland, Gay, Gay Panic, Internalized Homophobia, Kevin is definitely having gay thoughts, Light Angst, M/M, Orlando - Freeform, pretty fluffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:35:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24457552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/was_i_in_it/pseuds/was_i_in_it
Summary: Connor decides he would like to have one of those cliche chats-with-Kevin-before-bedtime-at-the-Mission-Hut. Much to Kevin's dismay, Connor is also comfortable enough to try flirting for the first time in his life.
Relationships: Elder "Connor" McKinley/Kevin Price
Comments: 8
Kudos: 59





	To Be A Disney Prince (AKA Kevin Price's Gay Panic: The Short Story)

**Author's Note:**

> The following short story is meant to take place several days after the events of the musical. Certain pieces of it are based off of an Instagram post I saw once.

“You know, Elder Price, with all the craziness of the past few days, I feel like I haven’t gotten the chance to talk to you.”

“ _Huh_?” I sputter back- a little bit too loudly- and swivel around to face McKinley. 

He doesn’t even blink at my overreaction. A small smile quirks his lips. “Well, you’ve been here for over a week,” he continues in his usual chipper way, “but I still don’t know very much about you. I was hoping I could talk to you a bit before you go to bed!” 

McKinley appears to be almost lounging on the sofa, arms crossed, a bedazzled journal sitting in his lap, his eyes studying me. He’s not doing _anything_ in particular… but I’m anxious.

_Why was he in my Hell Dream why was he in my Hell Dream why was he in my Hell Dream and why was he doing THAT-_

“Oh!” I reply. “Well.” I force my jittery limbs to move and sit down next to him, and I immediately plaster my hands to my thighs to try to get a grip on myself. _He knows he was there he asked if he was in my Hell Dream and I couldn’t lie and tell him no-_

If he notices how nervous I am, he does not react beyond smiling a little bit wider ( _does he look… smug? Why would he be smug?_ ) and turning himself more towards me. “So, tell me a bit about yourself!” he says cheerily, setting his journal down on the end table next to him and folding his hands neatly on his lap. 

“Well!” I rub my palms on my pant legs and try to relax. “I’m from Salt Lake City, and I have four siblings- three brothers and a sister.”

“Younger or older?”

“Younger- I’m the oldest.”

“Ah!” McKinley seems pleased. “So they all must look up to you, then.”

I huff. “Well, they _did_ , at least.” His face falls a little. “Not so sure they will after… all of this,” I explain, looking away from the sudden unhappiness in his eyes and feeling sadness twinge at my gut. 

“Don’t be so sure,” he says gently. When I glance back at him, his expression is almost unbearably soft. I’m suddenly uncomfortable again and have to fight the urge to squirm. “They may not understand why you went against the Mission President at first,” he continues, “but you’ve helped so many people this way.”

“No,” I reply, not sure why there’s a lump in my throat. “That was Elder Cunningham.”

McKinley sits up straighter. “It’s true that we wouldn’t have gotten here without him,” he tells me sternly, “but, without you, the General still might’ve taken the village, and we would have left. _You_ were the one with enough hope to save all these people, and to convince the rest of us to stay.” He pauses briefly, his soft, gentle eyes locking on mine as if to emphasize the importance of what he’s about to say. “And to tell us that we didn’t need to follow the rules in order to be okay with who we are.”

His eyes are very blue and very pretty. My brain becomes completely devoid of all thought for a moment. I take a deep breath and look away, trying to fight this spell. “What about you?” I ask quickly. “Tell me about yourself.”

He has not stopped staring at me and responds without missing a beat: “I’m gay.”

I clear my throat. My palms run along my pants in attempt to get all of this sweat off of them. “I, uh, I knew _that_ , Elder McKinley. Tell me something else.”

He grins again- for _whatever_ dang reason- and leans back into the sofa, finally breaking his hard stare. “I’m actually kind of an oddball here in terms of where I’m from,” he says cheerfully. “All the other Elders came from the West, but my family actually lives in Florida!”

 _Oh my gosh. Is he serious?_ “Oh, really?”

“Well, we moved there from New York when I was in middle school, but yes! Just about twenty miles outside of Tampa. I live there with two younger sisters- I also have an older sister, but she has a husband and is living in Utah with him.”

He’s the only son in his family. _I wonder if that also has anything to do with his decision to “turn it off” for so many years..?_ I try to turn off the sudden, immense sorrow this thought produces. “Was it hard to move then? After spending all of those years in one state?”

McKinley thinks on this for a moment. “A little bit,” he admits, “though primarily because I was leaving all my friends behind there. But I’m all for meeting people and making new friends, and, in a way, it felt kind of like a dream-come-true.” He chuckles. “This may sound a little silly, but, when I was younger, I always wanted to be a Disney prince.”

My heart stops dead. “ _Oh my gosh._ Are you _serious_?”

He looks at me quizzically. “Err… yes?”

 _I’m about to lose my freaking mind._ “Are you kidding me? I _love_ Disney!” I exclaim, unable to stop myself. 

“Really?” McKinley’s face splits into a huge grin. 

My face gets warm, but my discomfort cannot stop my love for Orlando. “Yes! I went there with my family when I was nine, and I _loved_ it! It’s my favorite place on Earth!”

“It really is,” comes Arnold’s voice from somewhere behind both of us. McKinley screams, and I jump so hard that I feel my soul leave my body. 

Arnold is completely unfazed by the heart attack he just gave both of us. “He talks about it all the time,” he continues. “He said it’s where he wants to spend eternity and everything!”

 _Is McKinley gonna think that’s weird? Is he gonna think that sounds too weird? ...and why do I care?_ McKinley sits up straight and checks his watch. “Elder Cunningham,” he says briskly, “it’s almost ten. Shouldn’t you be getting to bed?”

“I dunno,” he says innocently, “shouldn’t you?”

McKinley blushes, but he keeps his voice cool. “I was just having a conversation with Elder Price! We’ll be done talking soon.”

Arnold sighs. “Alright. Cool. Fine. Whatever. But in case I fall asleep before Kevin comes back…” He hurries over to me and wraps his arms around me in a big hug, and I reach up towards him, trying to hug him back in my awkward position on the couch. “Goodnight!”

“Goodnight, buddy,” I reply, patting his shoulder.

“Do I get a hug?” McKinley asks as Arnold starts to leave. 

“Oh- of course!” He runs back and hugs McKinley before retreating towards our room.

After Arnold leaves, McKinley turns back towards me. _He is pretty he has a pretty face he is pretty-_

It is at this moment that my brain decides to remind me again of what had happened in my Hell Dream a couple of nights ago, as well as how it felt to wake up and immediately see Elder McKinley standing over me. I clear my throat, hoping that my face is not as red as it feels. “Anyway,” I continue, “I-I do, just, really love Disney and Orlando and everything. I think it’s the best.” Self-consciously, I run a hand through my hair.

I’m not sure if it’s just me going absolutely insane, but it seems like he watches the movement, his eyes lingering on my hair for just an instant before he continues. “Well, I’m glad to hear that you love it so much! I was a little afraid that you would think it was silly of me.”

“No- not at all!” _McKinley as a Disney prince..?_ I try to imagine him in any one of the nice or extra-as-heck outfits provided for the Disney princes, and I’m immediately punished for my efforts by realizing how cute he would be and losing all feeling in my legs.

“Well, after this mission is over, you can act as my guide there!” He sighs. “Unfortunately, even though we live so close, my family has never taken the time to visit Disney World.”

This strikes me as absolutely absurd. “ _What?_ Why?”

He shrugs. “Oh, just never got around to it. Too much money and not enough time to go. I looked up stuff about Disney World online and watched vlogs from people there, and I always wanted to go… but we just never really took the time.” He laughs to himself, but his expression darkens. “My dad always said that, once I ‘finally get over whatever the Devil is throwing at me,’ then I maybe could take a _girlfriend_ there. Or a wife.”

The look on his face kills something in my chest. “Did… did you think you were going to get over it someday? That you would actually have a wife?”

“I was sure as heck going to try,” he says, “but I don’t think I ever really believed I would. Lying is worse than being gay, after all- I was not going to pretend to have feelings for someone just to save face. But I wasn’t willing to let myself have feelings for a… a male, either.” 

“You…” I swallow down the lump in my throat. “You thought you just… weren’t going to love anyone? Or let anyone else love you?”

McKinley’s head snaps towards me. “Romantically, my plan _was_ to close myself off from other people unless I actually managed to set myself straight,” he explains, “but it was- and still is!- my goal to love as many people as I possibly could in any platonic sort of way. Surely-” He cuts himself off suddenly, as if realizing he was about to say something he wasn’t sure he wanted to say. 

I stare at him, my eyes wide.

He sighs, then slowly and deliberately speaks again. “Surely God couldn’t hate me if I was kind to as many people as possible. Even if I was gay.”

My mouth hangs open a little. “You thought God hated you..?”

McKinley looks at me, and his expression turns stern. “‘Thought’ being the key word,” he replies hastily. “I’ve since realized how harmful that was- not only to myself, but also to anyone around me with any kind of self-doubt. Obviously, after eight years of trying to ‘turn it off,’ my homosexuality is simply not going away. No matter how hard I tried, or how much I wanted to believe that it was working, I never felt anything for any female I’ve ever seen. If there’s really nothing I can do about it, then there’s no point in acting like it’s my fault.” 

There’s a long pause. “Elder,” I start, my chest physically hurting, “I’m sorry-”

“No.” He waves a hand at me. “ _You_ don’t have to be sorry for anything. I meant what I said earlier, when I told you that you saved a lot of people and told us that we could still do great and be great without the rules. Since then, I’ve tried to let myself simply think and feel however I truly want. I’ve tried to quit turning it off.” His eyes meet mine again. “And you know what?” he asks quietly.

“What?” I ask, fighting discomfort again.

“I haven’t had a Hell Dream since.” At that moment, McKinley smiles wider than I’d maybe ever seen. His eyes crinkle. His cheeks dimple. His face lights up the entire room. It feels like my breath has been knocked out of my chest. 

_Oh jeez oh man he looks so cute I just want to hold his face in my hands and kiss him-_

“It’s almost too bad,” he adds, his eyes glinting. “If I had one now, I bet I would’ve seen you there!”

I don’t know what it’s like to have a stroke, but I’m almost certain I’m having one right on the Mission Hut sofa.

He checks his watch and releases a wistful sigh. “9:50,” he says. “We should both get to bed before ten.” 

Before he can stand up, I sputter out, “E-Elder McKinley-”

“Oh,” he says, “just call me Connor.”

Not sure why this has the emotional effect on me that it does, but I try to ignore it so I can keep talking. “ _Connor_ ,” I correct myself, “just so you know… After our mission is over, I would love to go to Disney World with you and act as your guide.”

He lets out another dazzling smile. “You know, Kevin,” he says, “it’s really a shame that there aren’t any good restaurants or ice cream shops or anything near here. I’d love to take you out to one sometime, and two years is such a long wait!”

McKinley says it so casually and cheerily that I almost miss it. “Um… ‘o-out’?” I ask, unable to stop my voice from quavering. 

He raises an eyebrow. “Now, you don’t expect me to believe that you’re much straighter than I am. Say, what exactly was I doing in your Hell Dream..?”

My face feels like it has just burst into flames. I duck my head to hide my blushing. “Point made,” I grumble.

He laughs warmly. I want to hear that sound for the rest of my life. “Oh, I’m sorry for teasing you,” he apologizes, his voice chipper again. He stands up, looking down at me with yet another bright smile. “It was a pleasure to talk with you, Price! Hope we can do it again sometime!”

I physically don’t think I can withstand another talk like this. “Uh, yeah! Me too!” I reply, still having trouble looking at him.

“Oh, and one more thing…” Before I can force my brain to function properly, I feel a hand grab my chin. McKinley is leaning down over me and pulling my head up to face him. He presses a finger to my lips.

I’m most certainly not breathing.

“You do not need to hide your lovely blush from me, Kevin,” he says, his voice soft again. “I don’t mind seeing it.”

Suddenly, he releases me and steps back, smiling as if he had not just given me a thousand heart attacks in one second. “That’s all!” he says cheerily. “Goodnight, Price!” Without another word, he walks out of the room.

I stare after him for a second. “Goodnight,” I whisper hoarsely to the empty room. Then make no effort to get up for several long minutes.

_...you know what? I think I might be a little bit gay._


End file.
